I met a young man who always lived in the shadows. He was a very kind young man, greeting everyone with love and affection. He liked to think a lot. If you spoke to him, he would take a moment to ponder and analyze what you said. If he had nothing to say, he would simply laugh. But if he had something to share, he would say it gladly. His love life wasn’t the best, but his aura radiated joy. His way of being empathetic, so realistic, tender, and somewhat confident when speaking, made certain women feel attracted to him.

Now, this young man was stuck. He had fallen in love with a girl who left him a bit confused. He had known this girl for some time, but they had been out of touch for a long time. One day, she reached out to him, asking for a favor. The young man gladly helped, but he found himself feeling attracted to her. So, he complimented her, which kept them in frequent contact through messaging apps.

She usually went to bed early, so he was always the last to respond. This made her send him “Good morning, how did you sleep?” messages when she woke up, which delighted him. They kept talking about life, jokes, romantic things, and more. This young man showed his interest through non-verbal cues or by being attentive, but he never dared to speak his feelings outright, perhaps out of fear of being rejected.

He was insecure. His lack of self-love made him settle for the crumbs the girl gave him. Although he noticed some signs of disinterest from her, he didn’t want to leave, as she seemed to be the only person, apart from his mother, who truly cared about him. It was a painful process, but he had been through it before, so he decided to walk away from the girl’s life.

The girl was only 20, but she seemed to just want to enjoy life, and that’s good. However, she lacked responsibility when it came to relationships. He said she was beautiful because he liked her skin color and the genuine interest she showed in him. He also called her “crazy” because she had no filter when speaking, unlike the facade many women put up to appear a certain way to impress men or others. The only thing she lacked was freedom, as she depended on her parents and didn’t seem to know what to do when it came to making important decisions.

The young man left. The girl made it clear that she wasn’t interested in a relationship at that moment, as she had other plans. She also clarified that she had some romantic interest in him and that they could remain friends. But he decided not to, knowing that if he stayed, he would remain emotionally attached to her. He left, however, with the frustration of why he always found himself in the same situation—always attracting insecure women into his life.

"The reflection of our own insecurities can lead us to seek in others what we need to find within ourselvess"
-Estarlincito-

He realized that he, too, was insecure and had very low self-esteem. That’s why, when he saw signs of rejection, he didn’t leave right away. He didn’t want to lose the crumbs the girl offered. He didn’t want to face reality because he knew it would be painful, especially for him, as he had no one to confide in. He only had himself in his life.

In his search for affection, the young man found himself trapped in a cycle of insecure relationships, driven by his unconscious mind. Through repetitive patterns of attraction, his unconscious led him to seek partners who mirrored his own doubts and insecurities. Subconsciously, he sought validation in these relationships, repeating dysfunctional family dynamics. To break this cycle, the young man needed to become aware of his unconscious patterns and heal his own wounds, allowing him to build healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the future.

However, deep inside, a flame of change was burning. He embarked on a journey of self-discovery, searching for the keys to break the cycle and cultivate a healthy relationship with himself. Along the way, he learned valuable lessons:

1- Closing doors: Sometimes, to move forward, we must let go of what holds us back. Saying goodbye to situations that don’t provide what we need is an act of self-love that opens the way for new opportunities.

2- Self-love: The most important love is the one we feel for ourselves. It is the foundation on which we build healthy and meaningful relationships. Taking care of ourselves, valuing, and respecting ourselves is essential for emotional well-being.

3- Dignity: We should never allow anyone to belittle our worth. If we notice signs that something isn’t right, we must act decisively and walk away from anything that threatens our dignity.

4- Emotional autonomy: We should not depend on external affection for happiness. Finding fulfillment within ourselves allows us to relate to others from a place of strength and security.

5- Unconditional love: The greatest love we can experience is the love we give ourselves. Accepting ourselves with all our light and shadows, forgiving ourselves for mistakes, and celebrating our achievements is the path to a fulfilling and meaningful life.

The young man's journey reminds us that it is never too late to transform our lives. By taking control of our emotional well-being and cultivating self-love, we open the doors to a future full of possibilities.